slowly eating me up bit by bit..all the misery that it's causing. i wish that this weekend would never end, but i know i have to go back to work tmr. just thinking of it makes me so sick, i do everything to just not to think about it...working at cartel,training extra hard at judo...BUT it's not helping...talked to ppl, iknow they care, but they just dont understand the situation. if it was that simple i'd wont be like this...i really dont wanna disappoint anyone, that's why i stayed on for so long already...guess she just hates me..body language tells me so...there's no use just wasting 3 months there if i know i'm going want to be labeled as " quitter" .

i'm not myself anymore.. i cant smile, i just put on a smile coz i have to, not because i want to...it's been a month already, the intern from SP left last friday.. so now i'm more alone than ever.. i dont know what tmr would be like or how this week would be like... i really dont mind hard work,i just cant take all the feelings and the mental torture that i'm getting from her!

every morning i force myself to take the bus, it's like boarding the bus to hell, i feel so useless, cant even take a bus alone, with out the terrible feelings waiting to explode..I'm so useless... sigh..now i duno wad to do...to fail..may as well quit now...i'm staying on coz i dont

slowly eating me up bit by bit..all the misery that it's causing. i wish that this weekend would never end, but i know i have to go back to work tmr. just thinking of it makes me so sick, i do everything to just not to think about it...working at cartel,training extra hard at judo...BUT it's not helping...talked to ppl, iknow they care, but they just dont understand the situation. if it was that simple i'd wont be like this...i really dont wanna disappoint anyone, that's why i stayed on for so long already...guess she just hates me..body language tells me so...there's no use just wasting 3 months there if i know i'm going want to be labeled as " quitter" .

i'm not myself anymore.. i cant smile, i just put on a smile coz i have to, not because i want to...it's been a month already, the intern from SP left last friday.. so now i'm more alone than ever.. i dont know what tmr would be like or how this week would be like... i really dont mind hard work,i just cant take all the feelings and the mental torture that i'm getting from her!

every morning i force myself to take the bus, it's like boarding the bus to hell, i feel so useless, cant even take a bus alone, with out the terrible feelings waiting to explode..I'm so useless... sigh..now i duno wad to do...to fail..may as well quit now...i'm staying on coz i dont